Why Cooking Rice Sucks

I've accomplished a lot of things in my life. 

Well,

in comparison to people with actual achievements, I guess I haven't. But to people my age, I have accomplished a lot of things. But one thing I've never done is be able to cook rice. It seems simple right?

"Exact directions on the package of rice" 

For two cups of rice bring 5 cups of water to a boil*

Stir in rice

Let cook covered for 45 minutes

*add butter and salt if desired 

Should have been simple right? 

Wrong. Cooking rice sucks. It never comes out good, ever. It's never as good as any teriyaki place's rice either. Here's a list of some things I'd rather do then cook rice. 

1. Drag my feet through a pile of nails
2. Re-watch the Spurs vs. the Heat Game 6 of the NBA Finals
3. Buy cooked rice
4. Pay anyone up to cook me rice
5. Eat rainbow sherbet ice cream (not a fan, in case the sarcasm wasn't detected)

You know what the worst part about it was? 

Right after the rice was ruined, I found a rice cooker in the depths of my cabinet.